October Monthly Review

Motivated by the likes of David Allen and Stephen Covey, I have made the effort for some time to set monthly goals and follow up on how I've done. One of the key learnings I've had is that setting and accomplishing goals is a skill that must be learned, and it must be learned by experience. That is, each of us must try, fail, and try again, learning each time until we learn to succeed. The subtext here, now confessed openly, is that I have failed many a time both to set and keep my goals. The upshot is that every time I learn something about myself and about how to be more effective in the future.

As I get into what has worked for me I feel to give a brief synopsis of what Gretchen Rubin calls the Rubin Tendencies, which is a set of four categories describing how we respond to expectations. These are Upholders, Obligers, Questioners, and Rebels. Rubin explains that Upholders respond to internal and external expectations (I do what I say I will do); Obligers respond well to external expectations but not so well to internal expectations (I do what I agree to do with you); Questioners fulfill only those expectations that make sense to them (Why do you want me to do that?); and Rebels resist all expectations (No.).

I'm not aware of any scientific study of these different categories, but Rubin's work suggests her view that most of us fit neatly into one of these categories. Maybe that's true, but I believe it is more complex than that. For example, I often look like an Obliger, but I'm actually an Upholder, and while making an appointment to run together is sure to get me out of bed, it's only when I make a firm commitment to permanent change (and not just a partial commitment to progress) that I am able to make a difference. Patrícia looks a lot like an Upholder, and always keeps her word, but she's actual much more of a Questioner (always asking "Why?" to all of my "shoulds"). My sweet mother is a Rebel, and thus I dare not guess where else in this spectrum she might fall.

With this introduction in mind, and with the discovery that I am firmly in the Upholder camp, I have learned that my goals are most effective when they are so specific that there is no excuse or outlet or loophole. And then I hammer at them mercilessly because I know if I break a commitment to myself I will lose my power. So it's not enough to set a goal to exercise every day, or to run every day, but to run to a specific point near the top of the mountain. Having library books to return, I analyzed my goal and realized that my goal was to get to that specific point, not run that specific route, so I ran my books to the library and then ran to my point in order to keep the letter of my goal. I know this all sounds a bit extreme, but it has been the only way for me to consistently succeed.

I tend to set two types of goals, which I call process goals and task goals. A process goal is some form of a habit, e.g. "floss every day". A task goal may be "file tax return this month". While I have accomplished both types of goals, I have found process goals to be much more effective. I think there are two reasons for this. First, process goals carry with them the means to their accomplishment, whereas task goals typically do not outline how they will be accomplished. Second, I believe that our habits determine virtually all of our results anyway, and so process goals are just about the only way to get anything done in life.

A second learning this month is that, to be effective, we must keep our goals within our zone of control. So for example, a goal to earn $1000 extra this month is better stated as a process goal to engage in our revenue generating activities every day or every week. I have little direct control over any one individual's decision to contract my services, but I have complete control over the number of individuals I talk to.

With this in mind, I will be striving to set process goals that are within my zone of control, and to keep them with exactness (because I am an Upholder).